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What Water Tastes LikeI am a great actress.
I have been hiding my pain
for years now.
Spiritual warfare isn't something
every teen girl goes through
He knows how much I've cried
behind my bathroom door,
can't take much more -
only to come out as if
nothing could ever damage me...
I listened to the enemy.
"Unworthy, unloved, unwanted."
"Put that blade to your body."
And I did.
I told myself I never would,
told myself I never could.
That's something that should
never even cross my mind.
But it did.
A girl as young as me
shouldn't be battling death,
but I have since third grade.
Jesus was my aid.
Nights he would serenade
me to sleep,
reassuring I am His to keep.
Morning came and He would shout,
"Child! Do not doubt.
There is so much to live for -
this is not what I have in store
But it wasn't easy.
Sometimes I couldn't hear
and out of anger and fear
I screamed at the Lord
doubting He'd appear.
But He always did.
And He will continue
to surprise me -
that's just who He is
The pig carcass filled most of the stainless tub where the delivery men had laid it. Freshly slaughtered, but not butchered, it had taken four of them to lift it there. None of them spoke to Rinnovi, only pausing for him to sign for the animal before they left.
On the way to the door, one of the men pointed at the stickers affixed to virtually every item in the house; black typewritten names and addresses on white shipping labels. The leader of the group nudged him and shook his head 'no', before hurrying him out the door.
Rinnovi poured a scotch, and turned on the kitchen vid display, his own visage peering back at him with a smile. He froze the frame, leaving the remote on the island beside the second stainless tub.
"Osiris, prepare to renew." He spoke aloud to the empty room.
"Preparations underway." The voice, angel soft and faintly Irish filled the room seemingly from everywhere at once. Both of the tubs began to fill with a steaming viscous liquid, spattering against the steel, a
To depression, for creating days without endWake up to the realization that you've been awake
for seconds, minutes, hours.
You've been awake in this warm, dark room
and you don't know how long it's been
but now you're conscious
and it starts again--
the pain, strong and steady, in your chest.
You gain consciousness in this too warm morning
and your thoughts whir in endless loops
because it's either that or face the weight in your chest.
Light breaks though the window, soft and unwelcome
but you take it as a reluctant gift--
a new distraction from the feelings awake in your chest.
Awake, but not conscious.
So you think yourself in circles a little while longer
waiting for those quiet pains
(the constant reminder)
to gain consciousness.
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More